Bob Livingstone

 

Bob Livingstone is a licensed clinical social worker (License number LCS11087) and psychotherapist who has been in private practice since 1987. He earned a Masters Degree in Social Welfare from The University of Kansas in 1979. He works with adults, adolescents and children. He specializes in divorce, trauma, grief, teenager-parent relationships, couples counseling, and family therapy. Bob’s favorite mode of treatment is Sandtray Therapy. Redemption of the Shattered has been in the making since June 1991, and Bob is elated that it is now available for the rest of the world to read. He has reached out to his friends to participate in this endeavor, and they have provided much of the technical and creative support that has made this book what it is. Other friends and allies have assisted in the public presentation of this work. The presentation becomes a performance with shared reading, drumming and displaying of sandtray slides. The author hopes that this circle of family and friends will grow as Redemption is discovered. Bob lives in San Francisco with his wife Gail. They will soon celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary. Visit Bob online at http://www.boblivingstone.com/

 

"Redemption Of The Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey Through Sandtray Therapy is a compelling blend of candid memoir with personal spiritual testimony... Redemption Of The Shattered is highly recommended as a profound and engaging voyage of self-discovery, insight, and the recovery from familial grief." -Midwest Book Review

"Brave, challenging and uniquely rewarding work... I encourage anyone dealing with issues of grief, guilt, or buried pain to read this book. You may find within it a powerful healing experience..." David Spero RN Author of
THE ART OF GETTING WELL

 

 

 

Pageonelit.com: Where did you grow up and was reading and writing a part of your life? Who were your earliest influences and why?

Bob Livingstone: I grew up in Highland Park, NJ, which is a suburb of New York City. My parents were both avid readers and believed that a good education was the way to a better life. I was an avid Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew reader during that time. The book that captured my attention most was one on the seventh grade summer reading list. Remember that list? Nobody seemed to read any of the books until Labor Day. I became riveted to Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. I was moved by the depiction of injustice and was inspired by the protagonist's standing up for his values against unbelievable odds.

Writing was a different matter. I found that my grade school teachers paid more attention to my horrible handwriting than any creative capabilities that I had. It got to the point where putting anything down on paper created an anxiety that kept me up at night. I remember the red F's on my report card in sixth grade. The teacher failed me in each class because she claimed that she could not read my handwriting.

As a pre-teen and teenager, the radio sounds that came out of WABC in New York and WMCA in Philadelphia were my greatest influence. I loved to listen to the Temptations, Four Tops, Supremes, Dion, The Rolling Stones and The Beach Boys. The deep emotional intensity of soul music combined with the angst and redemptive powers of Rock and Roll were the voices that spoke to me. The songs of loss, love and hope for a bright future were the only words I could really connect with during this time of extreme alienation.

 

Pageonelit.com: Why did you write REDEMPTION OF THE SHATTERED A TEENAGER'S HEALING JOURNEY THROUGH SANDTRAY THERAPY? What is Sandtray Therapy? Who founded this SANDTRAY THERAPY?

Bob Livingstone: When I reached my early 40's (about 11 years ago) I realized that I had not worked through the death of my father. He died suddenly when I was fifteen years old and his loss affected my every waking moment. I was often angry, confused, and engaged in self-defeating behaviors. I felt that a dark cloud continually hung over me. I knew it was time to deal with all this pain.

Then I discovered Sandtray Therapy. Sandtray Therapy is a therapeutic modality that was founded by Margaret Lowenfeld in 1928. The Sandtray Therapist's office has several small sand boxes and the client is asked to create a scene using miniature figures that are on the shelves. My first sandtray, which is also the first chapter of the book, was the creation of my father's funeral. I included the head stones, the temple, Rabbi, cars going to the funeral and the remainder of my family. After I built that scene, I realized that I had never actually faced his death before and now I was on the way to doing so.

As I was going through this experience, I felt I had discovered something special that I wanted to share with the world. The message I want to communicate is that Redemption of the Shattered offers the reader a groundbreaking approach for facing, experiencing, transforming and healing from the death of a loved one.

 

Pageonelit.com: Your editor, David Spero, briefly describes REDEMPTION OF THE SHATTERED being like a video game -- And he says, "This is not a self help book." Can you explain.

Bob Livingstone: I think David was referring to the nightmarish quality, life and death intensity, and recurring nature of the trials Rob faces in the book. Since REDEMPTION is about an adolescent's grief and loss, David was probably describing the book in language a teenager could relate to. In Mr. Spero's words, "Redemption of the Shattered is a brave, challenging and uniquely rewarding work. Think of it as a video game where, instead of sitting safely in your room pushing buttons or pulling on a joystick, you're inside with the monsters, fighting for your life. The monsters may come from your own mind, but that doesn't make them any less real. They may attack with guilt, fear and shame, instead of with guns or blades, but they are deadly just the same."

"Like a video game, Redemption of the Shattered plays out on different levels. To survive each level, Rob needs to learn new skills, find new help, and discover new strengths. Each of the 24 levels brings a new treasure, too. But, as in a video game, successfully completing one level brings Rob face-to-face with old and new demons on the next level."

Redemption is not a typical self-help book. A typical self-help book tends to give the reader information and specific steps to overcome what ever the problem is (death of loved one, having abusive parents, recovery from sexual abuse, etc.) These books usually have a ten point program about how to cure yourself. Self-help books are mostly intellectual experiences that do not include the emotional and spiritual aspects of recovery. They are helpful for many, but they usually leave out the PROCESS of facing, dealing with and healing trauma. The process is not predictable and plays out more like a roller coaster ride than a linear journey. The process of moving from extreme internal numbness to a place where all emotions burst forth is a dynamic undertaking and is clearly depicted in Redemption. The book teaches the reader that it is OK to return to previous memories, issues, and traumas until they are transformed into something positive. It also brings transformation to life; the reader can see how I accomplished great internal change.

 

Pageonelit.com: In REDEMPTION OF THE SHATTERED, you discuss your personal trauma and how 'working though' was an important aspect of the Sandtray therapy you experienced -- Please explain what you mean when you say, 'working though'.

Bob Livingstone: The term "working through" actually is an abbreviated term that describes the whole recovery process. Recovery takes time and effort and takes different forms at different times. In my story, working through began with identifying the numbness that I had been living with for most of my life and learning how it operated. I experienced the intense guilt that I lived with since I was fifteen and discovered means for letting go of it. I found my heart, and it opened up to feelings of joy and deep sadness. I found ways to connect with my father and empathize with my mother. I discovered ways to honor my father's life and death. I found that I had an internal world that could guide me and give me strength, and finally, I was able to let go of my father. The dark cloud that hovered over me for so long left.

 

Pageonelit.com: Can Sandtray Therapy work for anyone at any age? Tell us about the youngest client you have experienced with Sandtray Therapy? The oldest?

Bob Livingstone: I have utilized Sandtray Therapy with clients from the age of four through sixty, and even older. I find that children and adults who connect with this modality are able to work on their issues in an immediate and direct way that often times cannot be reached through talk therapy. There is nothing wrong with talk therapy. I utilize it often and I know it has been helpful for countless people. But the element of having the scene before you in a sandtray, and the ability to play with it and change it, tends to get to the core issues more quickly than regular talk therapy. Now, I have only my own clinical experience to support this statement, but there you have it.

 

Pageonelit.com: Now that you are an experienced published author - What advice can you offer for those writers who are working on their first book? What do you hope to accomplish with this REDEMPTION OF THE SHATTERED.

Bob Livingstone: It is hard work writing a book and it is even more difficult and tedious to promote it. Unless you are fortunate enough to have a financial empire, be prepared to invest considerable time and energy to marketing your book. I believe that the best advice I can give to new authors is to follow their heart while writing. Do not ever give up the dream that one day you will be published and praised for your vision and courage. This is beginning to happen to me now and I can hardly believe it.

I hope that my book will be read by millions and that they will learn that it is better to face trauma than to bury it deep inside. I want to advocate this belief widely and be respected as an author. Redemption depicts what the grief experience was like for me. I learned that all the energy I invested in not facing my father's death was more harmful than actually looking directly at the pain of his loss. I feel that my book teaches the reader how to find ways to face the hurt, develop new coping skills, face internal demons and discover internal wisdom.

 

Pageonelit.com: What has been your feedback from readers? What do they say to you about their interpretations of your books?

Bob Livingstone: I was hoping that I would get favorable feedback from readers, but what I have heard and read is astounding. When I am feeling down, I read some of the reviews. Last week I discovered that Midwest Book Review, a very prestigious review source, gave Redemption a five star Amazon.com review! Other readers tell me that they cry while reading the book because of its raw emotion. Readers feel a sense of completion and peace once they finish the complete story.

 

Pageonelit.com: Who are your favorite writers and why?

Bob Livingstone: I love the following authors because they write beautiful authentic stories that move me in every direction: Primo Levi, Alice Walker, Paule Marshall, James Lee Burke, Lee Childs, Thomas Berger, Don DeLillo, and Barbara Neeley.

 

Pageonelit.com: What's next?

Bob Livingstone: I am working on a book that is titled Healing on the Run. It is about the positive effects that physical exercise has on mental health. I am a runner and log about 25-30 miles a week. During each chapter internal conflicts, intense memories and pain are looked at and processed while I complete my normal 5-6 mile a day run. The book describes how exercise can open up the mind, heart and spirit, to not only problem solve, but to heal long-term issues.

 

Pageonelit.com: What was the last book you read?

Bob Livingstone: Jolie Blon's Bounce by James Lee Burke

 

Pageonelit.com: Do you have any hobbies? What are they? How do they enhance your writing?

Bob Livingstone: As I mentioned earlier, I run 5-6 miles almost everyday. Running brings peace of mind and helps me to discover a healthy perspective on whatever challenges I face. I sometimes run before I write and other times, afterwards. If I exercise before I write, I find that I am calm, focused and the words fly adroitly from my fingers. I find that, when I sit down to write before I run, that I am often agitated, distracted and restless. Once I find my voice, I begin to write, and when I run later, the emotions from that day's writing session pour out like hot lava.

My wife and I also play hand drums, mainly Afro-Cuban and Trinidadian rhythms. Percussion is part of the book readings that I do. These performances include reading with percussion accompaniment. The feedback I have received from audiences is that the drumming enhances the spoken word and therefore deepens the experience.