PageOneLit.com: Where did
you grow up and was reading and writing a
part of your life? Who were your earliest
influences and why?
Barbara Barth: I was born in
Jamaica, Queens, New York, but at the age of
nine moved to central Florida. I mention New
York because, while it means nothing to me I
was so young, I did have those Yankee
parents. I had a mother who loved the city
and I grew up hearing about her years
trekking into Manhattan. Central Florida is
not really southern, but when we moved there
it was not cosmopolitan. Later we moved to
South Georgia. My Dad was a private pilot
and worked for a company that sold crop
dusters. There were always interesting
people around me, especially my own family.
I think that gave my early life a sense of
adventure. My mother wrote children's
stories and a few true confessions. She
inspired me to think I could do anything at
any age. What a gift that is to a young
child.
In my late teens I had a pet
Capuchin monkey named "Baby" who would sit
on my shoulder as I read each night. I have
always loved books, but none stand out as an
influence on me. The monkey may have
distracted from that.
I feel like my positive attitude is thanks
to my parents. My mother made me think all
things were possible at any age and proved
that to be true when my Dad died. She still
encourages me to do what I need to find my
path since my husband's death.
PageOneLit.com: Why do you write?
Barbara Barth: I started
writing out of grief when my husband died
two years ago. At first it saved my life by
giving me something to do late into the
evening. Then it became fun as I tried to
weave stories around my loss. I have several
blogs and am a member of several online
writing groups. I enjoy writing. I like to
put down my thoughts. I see humor in most
everything and like to capture that. My
blogs are my journals. I can add photos and
spice things up. I have my secret blog where
I pour out my heart on this widow life of
mine; the good, the bad, the ugly.....and
the irreverent. It captures my latest
adventures and will be used in my next book
of essays.
PageoneLit.com: Your new novel The
Unfaithful Widow is a collection of candid
essays on finding joy again after the loss
of a mate. Where did the idea for this book
come from? Is this an autobiographical story
fictionalized?
Barbara Barth: The Unfaithful Widow is my
life the first year after my husband died.
Doing all those things I never thought I'd
do again. It is a memoir, candid
essays where no subject is taboo. I blush to
say that everything in the book happened to
me, or rather I did it all. Saying I did it
all has more power to it, which is the
message in my book. Taking control and
moving forward. I changed the book to add
dialog to spice it up, make it a better
read. There was too much of me telling
everything, which got boring to me. So
adding the girl talk I think made it more
fun. And yes, I tell all to my friends. They
lived that year with me. This is my story. I
had no children, I had retired early from my
job with the federal government and I
dabbled in being an antique dealer. In that
moment when my husband died I was left alone
with a blank page staring at me. I had to
reinvent myself. I came out a writer. I came
out of the year with five rescue dogs. I
came back out smiling.
PageOneLit.com: In The Unfaithful Widow you
somehow 'pepper' a sense style with humor
around the sad subject of death. How did you
do this so exceptionally well ?
Barbara Barth: Thank you for such a lovely
compliment. I have always used humor to get
me through dark times. I read one self-help
book a few weeks after my husband died and
the chapter I flipped through talked about
women coming out of long-term relationships
and dating again. I was the sixty-year-old
widow. It was very intimidating. It was
depressing. I thought to myself, this is not
going to be me. I started dating way too
soon after my husband died, but I needed to
get out of the house. Bad dates led to
amazing surprises. I felt the universe was
guiding me if I just opened up and moved
forward. I poke fun at everything. Which is
what I've always done throughout my life. My
friends have always said to me, "you are so
funny." I always liked that.
After I finished my own grief writing and
decided that my experience might give women
a more positive outlook I started to put the
humor in and rewrite my thoughts into tight
essays sparked with my whacky view of life.
I've always been a storyteller . I wrote
like I was telling my story to a group of
friends. For me laughter is the best
medicine. My heart is in my book. I think
you can feel the love for my husband weave
through my stories. But this is my story on
how I survived that first year. Laughing at
myself the best therapy around.
PageOneLit.com: The Unfaithful Widow would
make a great film - Hollywood just called
and asked you to cast the film. Who do you
cast and why?
Barbara Barth: Well, I have thought about
that! Thanks for asking. My heroine is Nancy
Meyers. Her latest film, It's Complicated,
is one of my all time favorites. She has a
gift for showing older women in such a
positive light. They are successful, they
are witty, they are attractive in a natural
beautiful way, they deal with loneliness and
then they meet a man. The women are strong
characters on their own. The romance a perk,
not a defining point in having a full life.
I love that.
I am a sucker for romantic endings, but I am
sixty-two and while I like to see the thirty
something crowd falling in love I am a
little past that. (Note I say a little, I
refuse to let age define me) Of course, that
said, I am more attracted to younger men. I
like the word awesome.Too many men my age
are on countdown or want a younger gal. I am
just starting all over and I see a future
ahead of me.
I love how she creates the entire
package. The set, the location, the life
style, all fit the personality of the
leading character. I love to see what she
could do with me. My fantasy is that
she would take my widow story and give it
the humor and warmth I have in my book on
the big screen. Maybe find that age
appropriate guy for me at the end just to
tie things up nicely, but not to keep me
from following my own path.
I was out on my patio at 2 AM the other
night. Not an odd hour for me, I am always
up late. The moon was full, there was a
delightful breeze. I looked around me and
six dogs were by my side. There is a studio
cottage to my left and a huge deck with
latticework that hides the rest of the yard.
Flowers were blooming in the moonlight. I
laughed and said, "yes" to myself. A perfect
Nancy Meyers set.
I am open to anyone playing me. As long as
they are spunky, cute and have attitude.
I'll even let them be thinner. I can deal
with that.
If we make my husband a character early on
in the film, Tom Selleck would be the guy.
When we met all those years ago, my 6’ 7”
husband had a mustache and in his Kaki
shorts had those Tom Selleck legs (from
Magnum PI). My husband aged as handsomely as
Tom Selleck has.
PageOneLit.com: For thirteen years she
published a hobby newsletter that had an
international subscription following.
Explain.
Barbara Barth: In 1988 I started a hobby
newsletter RAGS. I have always been a
collector and every few years something
new would catch my eye. That is how I became
an antique dealer. But back then I
buying vintage Raggedy Ann dolls at the
local antique shows. I fell in love with the
doll, especially the early versions. I tried
to find out information on the history of
Raggedy Ann and while the doll had been so
popular in the past, at that time I could
not find a source to tell me about my
favorite doll. I met a doll dealer who
specialized in Raggedy Ann and asked her if
she would write a column for a newsletter I
was going to start. Then I contacted the
family of the creator of Raggedy Ann and got
them on board with the articles and
illustrations for my covers. My next step
was to get with Simon & Schuster for the OK
to do the newsletter since they held the
rights to the books. I launched my first
issue of RAGS August 1988. RAGS was a
meeting place for collectors to share their
stories, photos and to learn more about the
doll's history. It was sixteen pages
published quarterly. I wrote the editorial
each issue, wrote promotional articles for
other newsletters and magazines about RAGS,
did the complete layout by hand and sent it
out snail mail. The subscription price was
$16 for four issues. I had subscribers as
far away as Japan and France. The popularity
of RAGS started a new interest in the
Raggedy Ann doll. I sold the newsletter to a
printer in Illinois. I had a wonderful time
with the newsletter, but I was still working
full time for the federal government and I
needed to free up my time.
PageOneLit.com: Tell us about your dogs/
Names? And how important they are in your
life? Do they inspire you to write?
Barbara Barth: I have a quote in the back of
my book, I like to think that I have rescued
dogs, the truth is they have rescued me. I
think that says it all. Dogs have always
been an important part of my life. Boy Dog
played cupid to us when I met my husband. My
grand dame Foxy has been with me for
fourteen years. Jake, my ninety-five pound
German Shepherd who couldn’t walk and was
incontinent kept me a caregiver when I had
nothing to do after my husband died. He
finally left me a year ago. There have been
a bevy of dogs to enter these doors since
then. I have adopted five rescue dogs in the
last year. Each dog has its own personality
and quirks. They have stories I’ll never
know, but they now have a home and are a
riot to be around. Bray, the Afghan mix.
Annabelle, the hound dog mix with
gingivitis. The Chihuahua Chloe who rules
the house. Then there was New Year’s Eve. I
couldn’t get a date, so I thought get a dog,
maybe two. That brought Rascal, my bull dog
mix with the polka dot belly and brindle
sweater and April In Paris who dreams of the
city of lights. My dogs taught me about life
and how to open my heart. They are my
writing muses. All their photos are on
blogs. Coming home at night and opening the
kitchen door is like entering Disney’s
Incredible Journey. I am cause marketing
with my local animal shelters and the dogs
are a big part of my book.
PageOneLit.com: What do you hope to achieve
with The Unfaithful Widow ?
Barbara Barth: I have already achieved what
I wanted. I found a new life for myself
writing about my loss. Writing my book was
the bridge to reinvent myself. I don't pass
myself off as a writer with huge credentials
behind me. I do tell the world I write from
my heart but my writing is my personal
journey. I am not the widow guru. We each
have to find our way to move on after loss.
My book is how I did it.
I hope my story will help someone
else decide to be brave; to take a leap of
faith that life can be good again after a
major loss. I write like I talk. I write to
have fun. I write to make people think about
how to treat others. I feel like a huge
walking Hallmark card with a bit of spice. I
hope people will enjoy what I have to say. I
write until 3 AM most mornings. I am serious
about it. It is my new work.
I self published my book because I wanted
the control of the final product. The cover,
the art work, my words are all the vision I
had for my story. I did not try the
traditional book route, but am doing it all
myself. Lucky for me I found you and now I
have some help!
The big picture that everyone has - someone
will like my book enough to take it to a
next level. A fun dream. But the ultimate
purpose of my writing has been served. I
have a positive book on finding a life again
and I am smiling every day at a life of my
own filled with possibilities.
PageOneLit.com: What was the last book you
read?
Barbara Barth: I have been
writing so much I have fallen behind on
reading. I buy books constantly and they are
on by bedside table, spilling off onto the
floor. I love journals and short essays. I
love Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck.
It made me laugh. I loved May Sarton's journals
on aging and life as each decade passes, but
have not read them in years. The last book I
read and I bought it because of the title
and cover (I am a firm believer that is a
great selling tool) was Lisa Scottoline's Why
My Third Husband Will Be A Dog. Turns out I
loved her essays as much as her title.
PageOneLit.com: What's next?
Barbara Barth: I am writing another book of
essays and I am waiting to see what the
universe has in store for me. I do say a
little prayer, please, no more dogs right
now. It takes all my strength when I see a
dog in need of a home.
PageOneLit.com: Do you have any hobbies?
What are they? How do they enhance your
writing?
Barbara Barth: I wear a lot of hats. I am
an essayist, blogger, antique
dealer, jewelry maker, painter, thrift store
junkie, dog whisperer, home decorator, and
people watcher. Everything I do brings life
to my writing.
