PageOneLit: Where did you grow up and was reading and writing a part of your life? Who were your earliest influences?

Barbara Silkstone: I was born in Hackensack New Jersey, where at birth, you are issued a peculiar sense of humor – it’s like a special bar code. We scan a little off-center.

I was taught by nuns at a Catholic school in Garfield NJ. There were 77 kids in our class; we sat 2 to a desk with a nineteen-year old nun as our teacher. Creativity was a luxury and comedy a survival skill. If you could make the class laugh and not get the nun mad - you might make it through the school year.

In 7^th grade, I published an underground newspaper for my class. It contained school news, exposes’ and an advice column. I managed to circulate six issues of this illegal publication before our nun sat on the paper. I stood at her desk, petrified, as I had to admit the existence of this forbidden rag. The penance was 5,000 Hail Mary’s. But I was not swayed.

Reading under the covers by flashlight at night was my refuge. I got my first library card at the age of seven. I would charm my way into checking out grown-up books, gravitating to horror and fantasy.

My earliest influence was a book by Theodore Sturgeon entitled More Than Human. It had an incredible effect on me as a child, and it still does. I thought - I want to do that. I want to make people think. It wasn’t until many years later that I met Stephen King at a writers’ conference in Boca Raton. He was kind enough to compliment and encourage my writing. Coincidentally, Theodore Sturgeon was at the same conference. I remember walking between the two of them, and Sturgeon telling me “Barbara, this man is one of our greatest living writers.” I felt as if I were on Mount Olympus between the gods. I went home very inspired and wrote with great passion. Then… real life got in the way and sadly, I put my dream aside for a number of years.

PageOneLit: Why do you write?

Barbara Silkstone: I write because I have to. I shake from withdrawal if I don’t write for a few days.

PageOneLit: Why did you write 527? Define your role as The Love Investigator. What exactly was the “One” thing you were looking for in your interviews?

Barbara Silkstone: I was coming out of a very short marriage and I had lost all my pre-marital assets to my “ex”. His lawyer had been the former law partner of the judge hearing our divorce. I was reeling from the injustice of it all. I was also seriously questioning my common sense. Was I that bad a judge of men?

I was looking for an answer as to whether I ever had it right…could I recognize real love…was I ever loved purely, just for me, not for my assets? I was also curious - most of my closest friends were guys. I wanted to find out if men had this Jeckel and Hyde thing going on, where they were great friends, but became manipulative when they were in a romantic relationship. So I guess I was looking for more than one thing. I was on a major fact finding mission.

Defining my role. First, I must say – I had no credentials to do this and that is what made it so easy. The men were very comfortable and accessible to me, because I had no business judging them. My role was just to listen. Men find it easy to talk to strange women, they just find it hard to talk to women they know. I set out naively thinking I could interview 1,000 men from all walks of life, all ages and all experiences in the course of one year. I did not expect the response I encountered. The interviews were not brief, sunny afternoon sit-downs. Most of the men talked for more than one day, revealing things they had never told another person. A lot of the information they shared had to do with my promise not to quote them. They would be anonymous.

One of my guy friends supplied me with a list of names of eight men who were willing to be interviewed on their thoughts about women. Included in the list was the name of Dr. Timothy Leary – the 60’s guru of flower children and free love - I had hit the “mother-load”. Leary was in his final months of life. I spent four separate days with him, taping and writing his thoughts. Those thoughts didn’t always travel in a straight line, but it was an amazing journey. I wish I had known Leary for longer as he would have made an interesting friend. Timothy Leary was my first interview, and after that I was sure I could handle the remaining 999 men.

PageOneLit: You said you altered in the process. Explain. What did you learn from these interviews as a whole?

PageOneLit: Like I mention in the book, I now have this “thing” that’s lodged somewhere behind my liver. Whenever a man starts to twinkle at me, this detector begins to croak…”Bullshit, Bullshit,” it warns me.

The most important thing I learned was that we probably get love right - the first time it happens. In other words, first loves are the real thing. A large number of the happiest people I found were those who fell in love and stayed in love with their childhood or high school sweethearts. That’s not to say, the second time around can’t be the real thing…it’s just rare. The divorce rate jumps from 50% on first marriages to 70% on second unions.

PageOneLit: What’s your definition of true love?

Barbara Silkstone: True love is all about honor. You honor your loved one by keeping your word, by being a place of safe harbor for that person, and in doing all that, you honor yourself. It’s so simple.

PageOneLit: As a result of your 527 interviews, what is your perception of the difference between men and women in relationships?

Barbara Silkstone: I hate to generalize…but generally (laughs) men enter into a relationship on a trial basis. Women expect “Happily Ever After.”

PageOneLit: Why 527? What was it about ending the book with 527 interviews rather than 530?

Barbara Silkstone: As I mentioned earlier, I fully intended to interview 1,000 men, that’s a lot of emotional baggage to carry around when you are not trained in psychology. My one-year project was dragging through six years and I thought …if I have to listen to one more man I will probably kill him. And so I stopped where I was at 527 men.

PageOneLit: Of the 527 interviews…did any one stand out?

Barbara Silkstone: There were quite a few. A young male prostitute dying of AIDS, a man who was madly in love with his wife after nineteen years of marriage, but the one that jumps to mind is Jackie. I report her interview in my book. Jackie had been a man for most of her life. I was eager to interview someone who had walked in both wing tips and high heels. During the interview I was getting dizzy. I realized that we listen to men and women differently. And as I followed the conversation back and forth across the gender line I was having trouble making the adjustments.

PageOneLit: What’s next?

Barbara Silkstone: My pet project: ALICE IN BLUNDERLAND. It’s a romantic comedy - a contemporary, adult take-off on ALICE IN WONDERLAND. The novel is completed and looking for representation. Along with my fellow author Susan D. Branch, we are putting the final touches on the screenplay.

PageOneLit: Last book read?

Barbara Silkstone: My last book read was actually LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA. It is my all time favorite book and this was about the 20^th time I have read it. Oprah has just named it to her book club choice and it is being released as a movie in November.

LEAN MEAN THIRTEEN By Janet Evanovich I am a big fan of her Stephanie Plum series.

And of course, I have fallen in love with A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS By Khaled Hosseini. He is an wonderful writer.

PageOneLit: Hobbies? How do they enhance your writing?

Barbara Silkstone: I used to be very involved in hot air ballooning and falconry. Both of which are relaxing and provide a different POV. ALICE IN BLUNDERLAND has taken up tons of time. Also, I find I have become more of a student of human nature as I travel about on my speaking tours for 527 Naked Men & One Woman. I find I am perfecting the Art of People Watching while staying grounded!