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Darlene Ford Wofford

Darlene and her husband, Carl, will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in June, 2007. Both Georgia natives from Atlanta, they along with their sons have been Cherokee County residents for over 30 years, and currently reside in Acworth.

Darlene has been involved in the mortgage finance industry since ’89, and she is Marketing Director for Mortgage Consulting Services, Inc.. A Certified Image Consultant, she is a member of the (AICI) Association of Image Consultants International. and a graduate of the highly acclaimed London Image Institute, where she is Director of the Institute's Graduate Division. As an author with her first novel, “Edgewise: An Assignment to Remember,” recently released in ’07, she is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. She is an active member of Toastmasters International, which she joined to develop her speaking skills and to become a more effective communicator.

She states her mission as “making a positive difference in the lives of others,” and further states that “the more people’s lives I touch in a positive way, the more positive my life becomes.”

PAGEONELIT.COM: Where did you grow up and was reading and writing a part of your life?

Darlene F. Wofford: I grew up in a very closely knit community on the south side of Atlanta, GA. It was an Atlanta address however it was next to a cow pasture and a chicken farm, so it was rural suburban. Reading and writing, as well as drawing have always been a big part of my life. I remember receiving books such as Heidi, Tom Sawyer, and Treasure Island as gifts at a very early age and becoming becoming totally consumed by them.

PAGEONELIT.COM: Who were your earliest influences and why?

Darlene F. Wofford: It may sound a bit cliché-ish, however, my parents were my earliest influences.

My father was a huge influence in that he taught me the importance of exercising my brain, to study and learn new things and to expand my knowledge. He had to quit school in 1919 at the age of ten to help support his family, so he certainly wasn’t an educated man, but he was very bright and witty. He also taught me how to laugh at myself and see the humor in life, not to take insignificant things so seriously. He and my mother were the strongest people I’ve ever known, but I didn’t realize their true strength until I was a teenager and learned the reasons they always called me their “miracle child.”

My parents faced many adversities prior to my birth. My father had a near fatal accident several years earlier after which the prognoses were that he would not live, and if he did he would be completely paralyzed. My mother was forced to work outside the home in order to support my three brothers and sister, while dealing with my father’s physical and emotional pain. Over the course of several years, they came through it all together as a family. My father regained his physical strength, overcoming all signs of paralyses, he resumed his position at the ironworks factory, and I was born in October of ’48. Through my parents’ examples, I learned to care about others, love with my heart and laugh from deep inside my belly. They reassured me I could do anything I set my mind to do, while encouraging me to respect and treat others as I want to be respected and treated. They were and continue to be among my greatest sources of inspiration.

PAGEONELIT.COM: Why did you write "Edgewise: An Assignment to Remember"?

Darlene F. Wofford: The book actually began as a form of therapy, following certain events, while I was undergoing treatment for post-traumatic psychological and emotional disorder through the county’s mental health department. My sessions with the psychiatrist were primarily silent on my part, thus unproductive until several months later, when the doctor gave me the challenging assignment to write about my first memories. An unexpected surprise came when my first memory was a very sweet one—the image of my father and me as a little girl. That vision opened a floodgate of memories that unfolded onto the pages over the next several months, eventually bringing me back to reality. Before I realized a book had evolved. About ten years later when I pulled out the box of "memories" and read them I was compelled to intersperse scenes in the psychiatrist's office as well as I could remember. Edgewise reflects those memories, with interspersed scenes in the psychiatrist’s office chronicling my progression.

PAGEONELIT.COM: Talk a little about your background and how your personal experiences played out while writing this book.

Darlene F. Wofford: In my late-fifties, I’ve been blessed to enjoy the best of all worlds— both personally and professionally. My romance with Carl, my husband of 40 years, is still going strong and we’re extremely proud of our sons, Kenneth and Cory. I’ve enjoyed several successful careers including interior design, marketing, image development, and mortgage finance. However, life hasn’t always been so blissful. In January of 1984 my world was abruptly interrupted when I discovered our son, Collin, drowned in our backyard pool. Three weeks later I was abducted by two men, sexually assaulted at gun-point, and abandoned. As a defense mechanism my mind shut down and blocked out those traumatic events, leaving me in a deep state of denial, silent and drained of any color in my life.

Due to my inability to verbally communicate, sessions with the psychiatrist were unproductive until several months later, when the doctor gave me the challenging assignment to write about my first memories. The portions that are actual memories flowed effortlessly, once that first vision ignited the initial memory back in 1984, and I would even say it was more difficult to STOP the progression of memories. I recall wishing my mind had features similar to a VCR with a "PAUSE" button, so I could take a rest from writing. When I came to the unpleasant memories, I wished I could "Fast Forward" through them in order to get to happier times. I did become emotional when I read through my memories and was compelled to intersperse the scenes in the psychiatrist's office to show my/Delaney's progression. I had to relive the sessions in order to convey them into words, so that was certainly an emotional time for me. As I relived each moment, my emotions ranged from laughter at some of the outrageous things I/Delaney did, to tears of anger and heart-breaking sadness. I've been asked, "How hard was it to write?" I wouldn't say it was "hard to write"—not as hard as the decision to publish it. I've laid my life story out for the world to see, and so my heart and soul are in this book.

PAGEONELIT.COM: How did writing "Edgewise: An Assignment To Remember" help you?

Darlene F. Wofford: It helped me acknowledge that even thought I have gone through some awfully rough times in life, I’ve also experienced some amazingly wonderful times, too. I was able to laugh at Delaney as my alter ego during humorous situations, and sense her emotions during sad, sorrowful or angry times, as well as be touched by the tender moments and love that surrounds her/me. I now look at life as a progression of events. Negative experiences from our past do NOT define who we are—unless we dwell on them. We were created to live and enjoy life, not just endure it!

The events upon which Edgewise: An Assignment to Remember is based have made me stronger and more compassionate of others, and I thank God I’m here today to share my story.

PAGEONELIT.COM: In "Edgewise: An Assignment To Remember" you write about 'painful memories' and how a doctor said you 'had wrapped yourself in a security blanket' but you say that "she could never know how that security blanket did nothing to shelter me..."
Explain.

Darlene F. Wofford: My mind more or less “shut down” as a defense mechanism, however, it couldn't block out the residual effects from the painful experiences. The memories surfaced in the form of nightmares and nightmarish visions, haunting me even during waking hours. The “security blanket” to which she was referring was a veil of silent solitude into which I had retreated to get away from the impending questions and constant reminder of the pain. That so-called “security blanket” did nothing to shelter me, but rather developed into a barrier, muffling any sense of love from God
and others

PAGEONELIT.COM: Describe Oakwood Institute in Cheatham Georgia...

Darlene F. Wofford: The book is “based on true events,” however I categorize it a novel rather than an autobiography because I have exercised certain creative liberties. I was never actually institutionalized like Delaney. I “placed” Delaney in the fictional “Oakwood Institute” to produce for the reader a vivid setting in which her psychiatric sessions would take place. My description of the doctor’s office, however, is authentic in every detail—dilapidated desk, water-stained ceilings, putrid green walls and chipped black tile floors—a dingy old under-financed county facility. The occasional roaches scurried across the floor and up the walls in bright daylight, so I could just imagine their boldness in the darkness of night. One afternoon I nervously studied a roach as it crawled across the floor, up the wall and onto the ceiling, only to lose its grasp and fall back onto the floor. Then it scurried behind the old black metal filing cabinet. More than twenty years later it still makes me shudder to think about the place.

The doctors and police recommended my husband admit me to the institution for treatment, but after seeing the condition of the place, he chose instead to care for me at home and transport me there for the daily sessions with the doctor. The building is long ago gone—as well it should be.

I am forever grateful Carl chose to ignore the recommendations to institutionalize me. I’m afraid I might have completely LOST my mind, rather than simply “misplace” it, as referred to by Delaney in the book.

What did you learn from writing "Edgewise: An Assignment to Remember"?

Darlene F. Wofford: I learned to remember and cherish the good times, and while I acknowledge the bad times as things that happened, I don’t dwell on them. I think about our son every single day and I love and miss him very much, wondering what sort of man he would have become; however, I no longer dwell on the “what ifs” and “if onlys.” It doesn’t mean I have forgotten our son, nor am I being disrespectful to his memory when I’m laughing and enjoying life. I will never forget or get over losing him, but I’ve gotten on with living and enjoying life on a daily basis, while I encourage others to do the same. While I can't forget what my assailants did to me, I have put the incidents behind me and accepted I am not the guilty party—I did not provoke the situations. By reaching out to help others see and feel the love surrounding them, I do what I can to touch their lives in a positive way. I’ve discovered the more people’s lives I affect, the more positive my life becomes. Good times, good friends and loving family go hand-in-hand with wonderful memories, and if I could have one wish fulfilled it would be for every person on the planet to experience them all in abundance.

PAGEONELIT.COM: In "Edgewise: An Assignment To Remember" you talk about how women have a need for communication -- And how communication may/was a problem in the beginning of your marriage - Your communication needs were being satisfied by phone by your mother, Sis, Diane -- Explain.

Darlene F. Wofford: As far as the communication between us as husband and wife, Carl and I couldn’t have communicated better in every way. I was actually referring to the need for communication with other women The delivery of our new phone enabled that to happen more. The problem was that I just let the need to communicate with my mother, Sis, Diane and others as women interfere.
with “our” time

PAGEONELIT.COM: I found your entrepreneurship a very interesting accomplishment, just in the fact that you did it -- Talk a little about 'THE ART ACT' by Delaney.

Darlene F. Wofford: Necessity is the Mother of Invention, and so it was with The Art Act. “The Art Act” was invented to meet the needs of more income for our family of four. I didn’t want my husband to take on a second job however I didn’t want to leave our two small sons in a nursery while I worked outside the home. I always had a passion for art, so I approached merchants in the area to design their logos and then to paint their signage on their storefront windows and create ad flyers. I also created crafts and sold them on consignment in gift stores and at the local arts and crafts fairs. Another passion for decorating came into play when I was commissioned to paint a mural in the home of one of the stores’ owners. Then after one thing led to another, and she asked my advice about furniture, art and accessories, I discovered I could earn money doing something I loved. I attended some design courses through the local colleges and before I knew it the business had expanded from residential to commercial. It was about that time I became involved with a national custom art framing company based here in Georgia. Within a brief time I was Director for over 500 accessory designers nationwide, and had earned numerous awards in recognition of performance and leadership, while enjoying the financial gain from success of the business.

PAGEONELIT.COM: What do you hope readers walk away with after reading "Edgewise: An Assignment To Remember" ?

Darlene F. Wofford: Emotions are simply human reactions to life events. There is no shame in crying over the loss of a loved one, and it is okay to shed tears when our hearts break because of an ended relationship, or touched by tender moments. It’s alright to show emotion when our lives are abruptly interrupted by tragedy or traumatic events. However, it’s important to talk about these things, whether we talk with a professional or someone who loves and supports us by caring enough to listen. It’s emotionally unhealthy to pretend these events away as though they never happened. Writing about our memories is one of the most cathartic forms of therapy to bring us back around and out of the darkness. Professional writing skills are not required for this to be effective in our recovery process; the important thing is that it gets the thoughts outside of the mind and onto the paper, enabling us to deal with our emotions. I'm always inspired when I read about someone overcoming life's roadblocks, and I hope my readers are inspired in the same way.

PAGEONELIT.COM: How has your life changed since writing "Edgewise: An Assignment to Remember"?

Darlene F. Wofford: Since completing the book I feel a sense of accomplishment—closure of sort—and I'm further inspired to complete the Edgewise series. I have received many emails from folks who relate to portions of the book and are compelled to share their stories with me. They've told me how much the book "helped" them identify and better understand their personal feelings from similar experiences in their lives and in the lives of those close to them. It's such a rewarding feeling to hear these things because that is the main reason I decided to publish this book—to put my life out there for the world to see. It's my way of helping others deal with their life's roadblocks.

PAGEONELIT.COM: What's next?

I would love nothing better than to have the book picked up by a commercial publisher. My ultimate goal would be to have the book made into a movie with someone like Ashley Judd playing the role of Delaney. Forgive me for visualizing, but I'm a devout believer in "If we can see it and believe it...we can certainly achieve it!” An Assignment to Remember is the first of three novels in the Edgewise series. I am currently working on the second novel, Seven Years 'Til Sunrise, scheduled for release in 2008, with the third, Hummingbird Heart, to be released in 2009. Of course, my goals include seeing these two books made into movies, as well. Once again, both of these are based on true events in my life, so they will each reflect the obvious presence of my heart and soul.

PAGEONELIT.COM: What was the last book you read?

Darlene F. Wofford: The most recent book I’ve read is Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here For? I enjoy motivational and inspirational books, such as Jack Canfield’s Chicken Soup series, and his latest, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I love listening to and reading anything by Wayne Dyer, such as The Power of Intention.

PAGEONELIT.COM: Do you have any hobbies?

Darlene F. Wofford: Yes, of course I have hobbies. All work and no play makes for a dull existence.

PAGEONELIT.COM: What are they?

Darlene F. Wofford: My hobbies include writing, reading, surfing—the net, that is— observing life situations, and people watching, both in real life and on the big screen at the movies. My husband and I have always been avid movie-goers, and consequently, so are our sons. I also love to get out on the open road in my little Thunderbird with the top down on the beautiful afternoons here in Georgia. My husband and I call that “T-birding.”

PAGEONELIT.COM: How do they enhance your writing?

Darlene F. Wofford: By observing life situations and interacting with people—listening to their stories—I'm compelled to share my own life experiences, as example of how life is a progression of events. Whenever I read inspiring stories in books or surfing the internet, I'm reminded how blessed I am to have recovered and emerged from the past. In that state of mind I'm easily connected with my inner self where I tune into my thoughts, which in turn flow more easily onto the paper. I’m always inspired when I see a movie or read a book about someone overcoming rough times and life’s challenges. I’m then compelled to write and share my story so others might be likewise inspired. I get some of my best ideas for writing while T-birding. It’s relaxing fun that gets me outdoors to feel the wind in my hair, put me in touch with nature, and sense the freedom to be and enjoy life!