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Robert
Gillis
Robert Gillis grew up in Dorchester,
Massachusetts and is
a graduate of Boston College High School and
U/Mass Boston. Although he's been a professional
computer programmer for nearly 20 years, his
first love has always been writing, and he has
written a regular opinion piece for the Foxboro
Reporter since 1996. He and his wife Susan live
in Foxboro, home of the Superbowl champion
Patriots, with their “kids,” a German shepherd
and a very opinionated Moluccan Cockatoo parrot.
He is very active in the Foxboro community; in
addition to being on the board of directors for
the Foxboro Jaycees, he also serves as that
organization's web master, and created and
maintains the web site for the the Foxboro
Doolittle Home, a place where senior citizens
live their lives in dignity and quality of life.
He also works with the Foxboro Food Pantry.
Recently, he has taken his love of photography
in a new direction and is selling his
photographs at his website, GillisPhotos.com
“Nana” is his first published book, and was
truly a labor of love, written over six years in
memory of a very special lady. He hopes that
anyone who has loved a senior will enjoy this
book. For more information,
visit
www.robertxgillis.com
&
www.NanaGillisBook.com
"Nana: My Grandmother, Anne Gillis
is a special and remarkable tribute to a
remarkable lady. This is a story that
spans generations with honesty and
a unique look into
the lives of a of a grandmother and grandson.
Nana: My Grandmother, Anne Gillis will give
you a deeper meaning into your own relationship with
your grandparents or open up memories that should be
remembered and cherished. Exceptional and
unforgettable."
PageOneLit.com:
Where did you
grow up and was reading and writing a part of
your life? Who were your earliest influences and
why?
Robert
Gillis:
I grew up in Dorchester Massachusetts. I was a
shy kid and was always being creative – the
writing came later; when I was a kid I was
always making things out of construction paper,
busses and trains out of shoe boxes, things like
that. I remember that I always had a great
imagination, but I never read or wrote “for fun”
until maybe the 8th grade, or high
school.
That’s when you have to start reading all the
classics by Homer and the poets. In retrospect,
I wish I’d read MORE in high school. There were
so many books like, “A Separate peace” and “Call
of the Wild” that I appreciate so much more now,
but back then reading was a chore. Bu that
changed quickly -- by late high school, I was
reading everything – assigned books and many for
pleasure – Books about astronomy, Star Trek
novels, John Irving, Michael Crichton, and
especially Arthur C. Clarke. I love Clarke’s
works because although his stories are science
fiction, he bases them on science fact. I also
love the works of Douglas Adams. He’s
hilarious.
Writing became a real part of my life in high
school. My friends and I started writing
adventures featuring us saving the world from
spies and the like. As we went our separate
ways to college, these stories were a way to
keep in touch. When my friend David moved to
New Jersey to get married, we wrote chapters of
a Star Trek story (featuring us, of course) that
blossomed into a 150 page novel!
I developed an incredible love of writing over
the years. There came a point where I HAD to
write. I would see something, and I just HAD to
write about it. That has never changed.
When my wife and I visited Ground Zero eleven
days after the attacks, I stayed up until 4am,
writing on the little hotel notes – I HAD to get
it down. When I got home, I wrote what I
consider to be the best piece I’ve ever
written. My editor placed it on the front page
of the paper (The Foxboro Reporter). That’s
what happens to me – I HAVE to write. I HAVE to
share it. And I am so happy I have a forum (my
regular newspaper Op/Ed piece in two newspapers)
where I can do that.
PageOneLit.com:
Who
is Nana? Why did you write "Nana My Grandmother,
Anne Gillis"?
Robert
Gillis:
“Nana” was Anne Gillis, my paternal
grandmother. When I was five or six, Nana
offered to pay me some small change if I would
bring newspapers to her home during the
weekdays. I agreed and the ten minute visits
were the beginning of a long and wonderful
relationship that developed between the two of
us. When I was older, I worked alongside my
father who had been doing most of the work in
maintaining the house on 10 Trull Street.
After my father died, I took over the upkeep of
Nana’s house, and I was still visiting her every
day. I visited her nearly every day for over
almost twenty-five years.
Nana loved to talk, and we spent nearly an hour
every day chatting. There were many stories
that were repeated again and again, but I know
Nana liked to tell them, and I never really
minded. As I got older, I became more
interested in the family history, and I’d ask
Nana questions.
As I grew up, I was able to do more. I made her
dinner every night and took her shopping. When
I started driving, I tried to take her out every
now and then; it always did her good.
After Nana died, I started jotting memories
about her—things I wanted to remember, stories
she told, family facts and trivia, and little
anecdotes. I discovered that after such a
difficult personal loss, writing was the best
therapy. I hadn’t intended to write a book, but
the memories just flooded into me and I kept
writing. Over time, I found that there could be
no better way to mourn Nana, and accept her
passing, than by celebrating her life.
PageOneLit.com:
In your new book, "Nana My Grandmother, Anne
Gillis" you talk about how special her house was
for you growing up -- Please explain.
Robert
Gillis:
Most of the story takes place at number 10 Trull
Street, Nana’s home in Dorchester for over 50
years. The house was a beautiful 12 room
mansion. From 1940-1965, the house was also
Nana’s business, the Uphams Corner Rest Home.
From 1965-1992, Nana lived there and opened the
upper rooms to tenants.
While I never lived at 10 Trull Street, it was
always my home. After all, I visited the house
nearly every day for twenty-two years. Probably
half of my childhood memories are associated
with Nana’s house. I even slept over the house
several times.
Occasionally, Theresa and I played with Beverly
and Tara, two of the neighborhood children, but
usually we were on our own. Theresa and I were
never bored and played games like kickball, hide
and seek, and kick the can. Years later we
had friends meet us at Nana’s on Sundays and we
would spent the afternoon playing outside.
Theresa and I can recall many, many evenings at
Nana’s, happily exhausted and filthy after
playing and running in the yard all day.
Nana’s amazing house was a playground for us.
We had a fort under the porch. The sprinkler
pipes in the front room became the ‘bat poles’
for Batman, the coffee pot in the kitchen became
an intercom to Colonel Klink’s office and the
piano held our maps and secret plans when we
played “Hogan’s Heroes.”
We loved that piano. Nana never mentioned where
she’d picked it up or why it was in the
house—she never talked about its history,
although the piano seat was filled with her old
pictures. But Theresa and I were constantly
playing the thing (badly) and doubtless driving
Nana’s tenants crazy with the noise.
Rainy Sunday afternoons, we made annoying prank
phone calls and played card and board games on
the front room carpet. We discovered Sesame
Street and Mister Rogers Neighborhood
on Nana’s TV.
We were fascinated by many of the old-fashioned
items at Nana’s house and used to play with
them. Quaint old-time items like the big
rolling pin, hand mixer, huge cooking bowls,
meat grinder, washboard, and old-fashioned
“rolling” iron could only be found at a house as
old as Nana’s.
God, I loved Nana's house. I remember many
Octobers at Nana’s when her yard exploded with
spectacular foliage, as the leaves turned
yellow, orange, and bright red. The large tree
in Nana’s front yard was always so pretty. I
loved that tree. (The new owner took the tree
down and the place just doesn’t seem the same
without it.)
With the crisp blue sky and a pretty blanket of
gold and red covering the grass, Nana’s yard was
truly a showplace. Theresa and I raked huge
piles of leaves to jump into, collected the
prettiest leaves, and even built a scarecrow in
the front yard.
Winter snowstorms at Nana’s house were
gorgeous. Although I was the designated snow shoveler, Nana usually gave me $2 for the job.
Nana’s yard and trees, buried in a blanket of
snow, were truly a beautiful sight.
As spring would finally arrive, so would Nana’s
birthday in May. I loved it because the weather
was warm and the lilacs bushes in Nana’s yard
would bloom. There were only two small bushes,
but I tried to bring Nana lilacs as often as
possible during their brief blooming time, and I
always brought in a huge bouquet of them for her
birthday.
And I miss those summers, playing in the yard,
talking on the porch at night, listening to the
crickets chirping.
PageOneLit.com:
Talk
about a couple of the special things you and
your grandmother shared? What was the best
advice she gave you?
Robert
Gillis:
One of Nana’s favorite expressions was, “Your
dollar is you best friend,” and that came from
how hard she worked all her life. Nothing was
ever handed to Nana; her entire life was filled
with hard work and she certainly taught me the
value of work, the value of saving your money,
the value of working toward or for something.
While Nana and I were generations apart, I think
there was a bond we shared that was more of a
mother-son relationship. She and my dad (her
son) were not close during his childhood, and in
some ways I think Nana saw me as a second
chance.
What I shared with Nana was an amazing sense of
unconditional love and acceptance. No matter
what I was going through – no matter what kind
of a day I had – there was always one place I
could go where someone was so elated to see me,
and I could make a real difference. That was
Nana’s house. That meant the world to me. It
still does.
PageOneLit.com:
In
"Nana My Grandmother, Anne Gillis”, you discuss
your grandmothers problems with alcohol -- Was
this a difficult subject to write about
publicly? Did you ever talk with your
grandmother about her drinking? Did her drinking
have any effects on you? The family as a whole?
Robert
Gillis:
Oh yeah, it was hard to write about. When I
started writing the book (soon after Nana died)
it felt like a betrayal of a family secret in a
way. But you have to understand that drinking
– alcoholism – was a big problem on both sides
of my family. My dad, God rest his soul, was an
alcoholic. So were many of our family friends.
In Dorchester, where I grew up, most everyone
drank (I didn’t). The bars were the place the
dads went to on Saturdays. And so growing up, I
often had to deal with Nana or Dad drinking.
I included Nana’s alcoholism in the book because
NOT writing about it would be a lie. That she
had this sickness, this disease, and that it
affected so much of her life and mine – well,
omitting it would be a disservice both to her
memory and to me. I was too affected by Nana’s
drinking to ignore it – in some ways it made me
grow up a little faster. And it was one of the
reasons I visited every day—to keep an eye on
her.
When Nana drank, she got moody and wanted more
drink. And of course, as she grew older, the
danger of a fall was a big concern. She was
drunk when she fell and broke her hip in 1982.
Her drinking caused my father great concern, and
her drinking caused problems and fights with her
family. Many of Nana’s siblings drank.
Did I talk to her about her drinking? Not
really. I had an argument with her once in 1983
– the only time we ever argued. One of Nana’s
tenants had picked up a few bottles of beer for
Nana and I asked him not to, and told Nana I’d
smashed the bottles in the trash, that “she was
going to kill herself” if she kept drinking.
This was only two months after she'd broken her
hip after a drunken fall. Nana was furious and
told me I had no right to do that.
Looking back, I don’t know what got into me that
day. Although my intentions were noble, my
actions were very wrong. Wanting to protect
Nana from her drinking was one thing, but I
really treated her poorly.
I’d seen Dad deal with Nana in a certain manner
when she was drinking and supposed it fell to me
to simply deal with her in the same way—and that
was wrong.
I felt very bad about my actions and apologized
when I returned to Nana’s early the next day.
Nana accepted my apology, although I knew she
was hurt and embarrassed. We never spoke of
this incident again.
As time went by, I realized that there was no
way I could ever stop Nana from drinking, and
despite Dad’s feeling on the subject, I really
shouldn’t have tried. Nana had so very few
pleasures in life, and a glass of cold beer was
one of them. It was never my intention to deny
Nana this simple pleasure, just to keep her from
abusing it, causing trouble, and hurting
herself.
Soon, I mellowed on Nana’s beer drinking. As
her ability to walk gradually declined, she
wasn’t going to the store for whiskey, so I’d
bring her in a couple of cans of beer a few
times a week. Since I was bringing the beer,
she wasn’t abusing it.
Someone as old as Nana was certainly entitled to
a vice or two, as long as it didn’t get out of
control. I’d never buy whiskey or anything
stronger than beer, and I still would try to
monitor and control her drinking, but I had no
right to take it away. I would never lecture
Nana about her drinking again.
PageOneLit.com:
In
May 1988 you write that your "Nana" went through
a 'rebirth' - Please explain.
Robert
Gillis:
Nana went through something of a rebirth in May
1988, the same month I graduated from U/Mass
Boston. In the space of a few weeks, her health
declined rapidly. She stopped eating much of
anything, and talked about wanting to die. She
added that she was sick of her life and wanted
to be with her family.
Nana stopped taking care of herself, and some
days she didn’t even bother to get dressed,
spending the entire day in her nightgown. Also,
she was forgetting things. On one occasion,
Nana tried to cook a pork shoulder, forgot about
it, and the entire kitchen was filled with smoke
when I arrived at the house.
I feared that Nana was going to die, but in
early June, something wonderful happened.
Sister Andrea, Nana’s oldest and dearest friend
from her hometown of Glendale Cape Breton,
arrived for a visit, and I got a new Nana the
following day! Sister Andrea’s visit was just
what Nana needed—a meeting with a cherished
friend from long ago.
I didn’t see Sister Andrea the day she visited,
but the change in Nana was profound. Her entire
outlook changed. She was happy, friendly, and
in a wonderful mood for the rest of the summer.
Whatever the two friends talked about that day,
it made a profound difference in Nana.
Sister Andrea snapped Nana out of her blue funk,
and to call Nana upbeat and cheerful after the
visit would be an understatement. In addition,
Nana, who was never a “touchy” person or a
hugger, someone who was always a little distant,
grew extremely affectionate.
Nana became very appreciative of all the things
Mom and I did for her. She was constantly
praising and thanking us, and started hugging me
every day when I arrived. I always knew she
loved me, but she’d rarely verbalized the words,
“I love you, Bobby.” On many occasions after the
visit, Nana hugged me and told me she loved me.
She continued to grow more affectionate for the
rest of her life.
PageOneLit.com:
If
your 'Nana' read "Nana My Grandmother, Anne
Gillis" -- What do you think she would say?
Robert
Gillis:
That’s a question I’ve asked myself many times.
If Nana were still alive I probably would not
have written that part about how my father was
born. Nana was an unwed mother – something
positively scandalous in the 1930s – and Nana
never, ever talked about it. Even as a child I
knew the subject was forbidden. I actually
wrestled whether or not to include it, but
realized the story made no sense if my father
just came upon the scene in 1937. I can’t
imagine Nana ever giving me her blessing to
write about the secret she held so close. But
it was part of who Nana was, and I hope that
Nana understands how important it was for me to
tell her story – her entire story. Ultimately,
I think she would have liked most of it. I
think I do her life justice. She was a
remarkable woman. Her life mattered, and I
think her story will resonate with others. I
think she would be happy I remembered so many of
her stories and pleasantly surprised how special
she really was.
PageOneLit.com:
What did you learn from writing "Nana My
Grandmother, Anne Gillis"?
Robert
Gillis:
I learned how important Nana was to me – how
grateful I was to have the ability to put her
life into a story that could be accessible to
everyone. I found out that while I was taking
care of Nana, she was really taking care of me.
The short answer is that on a personal note the
book allowed me to grieve for Nana and then
allowed me move on. That took over a decade.
But I also found out the difference the book
made for others. I have been in contact with
people who cried when they read the book, people
who told me how much the story reminded them or
an aunt or elderly relative. One friend read
the book as her mother lay dying and she told me
that reading it helped her somewhat. That meant
the world to me.
I also found out that the people in Cape Breton
are so friendly! Thanks to the Internet, have
made contact with so many people in Cape Breton
who have provided pieces of information or just
shared stories with me about that beautiful
place and the people who live there. After the
book was published, I learned more – I met a
second cousin who lives five miles from me who
grew up in Nana’s home town. I met another
cousin whose only pictures of his grandfather
(Neil, Nana’s brother) were on the book’s
website.
In short, I learned that once the book was out
there, it took on a bit of a life of its own –
and helped connect me with other members of the
extended family.
I think Nana would be very pleased.
PageOneLit.com:
What's next?
Robert
Gillis:
Another book, you mean? Someday. For now, I
write my op/ed piece for the Foxboro Reporter,
maintain websites for the Foxboro Jaycees and
the Foxboro Doolittle Home retirement community,
and my wife Sue and I are VERY involved in the
Foxboro community. That and a full time job as
a computer guy means my plate is pretty full!
It’s a fantastic feeling that the book is
completed, that the story is out there for
people to enjoy.
PageOneLit.com:
What
was the last book you read?
Robert
Gillis:
“Be More Chill,” by Ned Vizzini, is a terrific
book I’ve read several times. It’s about a
teenager named Jeremy who ingests a
supercomputer to become cool. It’s actually a
great read and anyone who’s ever been a “not so
cool” teen-ager or dealt with teen angst can
certainly identify! I know I could.
Also just finished “The Last Juror” by John
Grisham. I’ve become a big fan of Tom Clancy
and John Grisham.
PageOneLit.com:
Do you have any hobbies? What are they? How do
they enhance your writing?
Robert
Gillis:
I’ve started getting into photography again and
launched GillisPhotos.com. It’s a good match
(web design) and computers. I love being
creative and I just got my first SLR camera –
it’s a Canon Digital Rebel. I’m amazed by the
images I’m getting.
Besides the photography and writing I do so much
work with the community service projects in the
Foxboro Jaycees, and have served on their board
for years. It’s fun to be part of that. We do
an annual haunted house fund raiser that brings
in thousands of people each year and supports
the donations, scholarship and other good works
we do. And it so much fun to construct a
haunted house, get dressed up and scare people
and put on a great show!
And my wife and I love the water – we love to
get away to the water whenever we can. Even if
it’s just the 40 mile drive to Hull (here in
Massachusetts) or Port Judith in Rhode Island –
we love to go to the water, enjoy the sights and
sounds, and have a seafood dinner.
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